I'm not looking for the perfect Eric because, even if he did exist, perfect is boring. And I'm not all that worried about physical attraction. A lot of what makes someone good-looking to me is his humor, confidence and style — and that spans across all shapes, sizes, ages and ethnicities.

So how do you know if you're the Eric for me? Here are some pointers about what I am — and what I'm not — looking for:

You don't need someone to "complete" you. Listen, I watch romantic comedies (and, yes, I cry at them, even though I know better). But I don't buy the myth that all I need is some guy to make me whole. I'm already whole, and I'm looking for an Eric who is, too. Busy lives might make the logistics between us more difficult, but in my view, it's better than melding into one.

You're passionate about what you do. Not just in your career, but in your life. I need an Eric who is fearless in pursuing his goals and who encourages me to do the same. And I want someone who wants to keep learning new things for the rest of his life, both together and apart.

You understand that boundaries are good. I spent the better part of my twenties taking care of other people instead of taking care of myself. But now that I know better, there's no going back: I need a good chunk of time to spend alone and with friends, and I need a guy who doesn't feel threatened by that.

You still believe in chivalry. I want an Eric who knows how to open doors for me, who brings me flowers for no reason whatsoever, who can spontaneously plan an evening of fun, and who keeps surprising me because he never wants me to feel taken for granted. Maybe it's pure fantasy, but at heart, a part of me will always be a hopeless romantic.

You know yourself. I want a guy who knows the difference between fashion and style, between arrogance and confidence, between intelligence and smarts. And even though it may be heresy in the gay world, my Eric knows that being true to himself is way, way hotter than keeping up appearances.


Sorry, applications to be my boyfriend are no longer being accepted. Thank you for your interest.